Helping kids manage exam pressure the right way: What parents should know

Subtle behavioural changes can signal rising stress. Experts urge parents to focus on effort and emotional safety while recognising early signs of stress in children

Exams have always been a part of growing up. However, in recent years, there have been increasing reports of students struggling with anxiety, low mood, suicidal thoughts and depression during exam season. From board exams to competitive tests, many children quietly carry the weight of expectations, comparison and fear of failure.

While a certain level of stress can motivate performance, excessive pressure can chip away at a student’s confidence and emotional wellbeing. As conversations around student mental health grow louder, parents are increasingly urged to look beyond marks and rankings.

Spotting the early signs of exam stress

According to Dr Ruchi Golash, paediatrician, CK Birla Hospitals, CMRI, early stress signals are often subtle. “Early signs of exam stress often appear as small but noticeable changes in behaviour or routine,” she explains.

 

Children may become unusually irritable or withdraw from social activities and they may lose interest in hobbies they once enjoyed. Changes in sleep and eating patterns are common and physical complaints such as headaches or stomach aches may appear without a clear cause. Nail biting and restlessness can also increase.

Dr Murali Krishna, consultant - psychiatry & counselling services, Aster RV Hospital, Bengaluru, adds the earliest signs are often behavioural and emotional rather than academic. He says parents should observe patterns rather than isolated incidents because persistent changes over more than a week may indicate rising stress levels. Parents should also watch for

• Sudden mood swings
• Excessive worry about disappointing the family
• Repeatedly seeking reassurance
• Fatigue or loss of appetite

Creating a supportive home environment

While exams cannot be avoided, the pressure that comes with them can be managed. Both experts stress that emotional safety must come before performance.

Dr Golash says parents should set realistic expectations and avoid comparisons with siblings or classmates because every child learns differently and progresses at their own pace. “The focus should be on effort and learning, not just marks,” she notes.

Dr Krishna adds that a calm predictable routine helps children feel secure. He advises parents to avoid constant reminders about exams because repeated warnings may increase anxiety rather than motivation.Practical ways to create a healthier environment include:

• Maintaining a steady daily routine
• Using encouraging language instead of comparisons
• Allowing children to express fears without judgement
• Offering help with revision without micromanaging

Children benefit most when they feel accepted regardless of outcomes and when results are not linked to family reputation or future success.

Responding to exam performance with empathy

Result days can be triggering for students. Experts say a parent’s reaction on such occasions quietly shapes a child’s long-term confidence. Dr Golash advises parents to respond with empathy rather than frustration in case of underperformance. “Reassure the child that one exam or result does not define their worth or future,” she says.

Dr Krishna emphasises that calm reassurance should come before correction. "Parents should listen without interrupting avoid blame and focus on problem solving rather than mistakes," he says. When children understand that failure is a learning opportunity they develop resilience instead of fear.

Even when a child performs well, parents should celebrate the effort rather than just the outcome and remind them that their value lies in who they are, not only in the marks or ranks they achieve.

Daily habits that reduce exam anxiety

• Ensure at least eight hours of quality sleep
• Create structured study blocks of 45 to 50 minutes followed by short breaks
• Include physical activity or playtime to release stress
• Limit non academic screen time especially before bedtime
• Encourage deep breathing and positive self talk

These habits stabilise mood improve concentration and strengthen emotional resilience.

Nutrition also plays a vital role. Balanced meals that include proteins fruits and whole grains help sustain energy levels while excessive caffeine sugary snacks and junk food may worsen restlessness and reduce focus.

When to seek professional help

Experts say that professional support may be needed if stress becomes intense or persistent. Warning signs include:

• Severe panic attacks
• Persistent insomnia
• Significant loss of appetite
• Extreme social withdrawal
• Difficulty completing daily tasks

If these symptoms fear, families can approach school counsellors, child psychologists or mental health professionals for guidance. Early intervention can provide coping strategies and emotional regulation tools that can prevent long-term mental health challenges.  

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